collections
21 Insightful And Humorous Quotes By Famous Comedians And Celebrities
If you had a rough week and need a good chuckle, look no further than these hilarious quotes from some of the funniest names in comedy and entertainment. For instance, a Bill Murray statement captures the essence of nostalgia with his witty observation: “Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.”
The late and iconic Betty White, always the queen of clever remarks, shares her witty take on this hilarious quote: “In my day, seeing pictures of people’s vacations was considered a punishment.” Meanwhile, Jim Carrey reminds us that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be with, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.”
So, dive into this collection of gems that promise to bring a smile and a hearty laugh to your day.
"Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die." – Bill Murray
(Source: Facebook)
“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of people's vacations was considered a punishment.“ – Betty White
(Source: Facebook)
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means to 'put down.'" – Bob Newhart
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” ― George Carlin
(Source: Reddit)
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg
(Source: Boldomatic)
"I love South Dakota, I do. And you know, the Black Hills of South Dakota are sacred to the Lakota Indians. And out of respect, our government carved four white guys into the side of a mountain." -- Jim Gaffigan
(Source: Reddit)
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.” – Jim Carrey
(Source: Lifestyleofpeace)
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being – John Oliver
(Source: Brainyquote)
"I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can't decide what I want and I don't want to be stuck with one I'm just going to grow to hate and have to have surgically removed later." – Margaret Cho
(Source: Pinterest)
“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” – Jack Whitehall
(Source: Just-one-liners)
"I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That’s a lot of coloring when you think about it." – Adam Sandler
(Source: Pinterest)
“Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.” – Bill Hicks
“If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn’t be funny.” – Don Rickles
(Source: Brainyquote)
“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.“ – Larry David
(Source: Brainyquote)
