Two non political twitter tweets

Distract Yourself With 25 Posts From 'Non-Political Twitter'

Today is a big day in the United States. It's not a particularly joyful day for most of us, whether we're passionate about politics or we absolutely hate every mention of them. There are lots of crazy things happening that we are better off without mentioning, because this is a non-political article full of non-political entertainment. The following images have been sorted by the kind Redditors at /r/NonPoliticalTwitter, and they're free of any political motivations or news that we're better off without seeing. Instead, you can simply enjoy them at face value, and they won't leave any lasting psychological damage.

These tweets come from the best Twitter (or "X," if you prefer) has to offer. They range from weird shower thoughts to wholesome memes to just plain weird. It's really a mixed bag, and it's better that way. Here's some of the best new content to keep you entertained without all the stress, because we could certainly all use a break, especially today.

My dad drives 40mph on the highway

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

(Source: Reddit)

Good question

@yaoification I love nursing school man Follow The father of a newborn tells the nurse, "My son just died." How should the nurse respond? "I am sorry for your loss." "There is an angel in heaven." "I understand how you feel." "You can have other children." 2:58 PM - 10/30/24 1.3M Views . 188 t 4K M 90K ☐ 4.2K To a STO <]

(Source: Reddit)

It's hard to explain

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

(Source: Reddit)

Nice

Qualy the lightbulb @QualyThe Follow Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai pris and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon Al will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary. 2:40 PM - Sep 28, 2024 420.7K Views

(Source: Reddit)

What show have you been watching?

Pookie Post @PookiesParadise homelander is NOT a f `n anti-hero bro Follow JV @vinhlegacy. 1d these are the 4 greatest anti-heroes in all of fiction 2:51 PM 11/1/24 .5M Views 459 t 9.7K Most relevant replies 222K 2.9K

(Source: Reddit)

He looks like he's about to ask me a riddle

Eleanor Margolis @Eleanor Margolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

(Source: Reddit)

Living the good life

SpacedMom @copymama Follow My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said "That would be like sitting in a field of french fries." 20:49. 20 May 24.764K Views 1,847 Reposts 63 Quotes 34.3K Likes 746 Bookmarks

(Source: Reddit)

It's not fair

Nate Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

(Source: Reddit)

Disaster waiting to happen

lynn @SeoOnStage • 4h some random kid is gonna try this in the wrong area and will end up on the news iFireMonkey GG @iFireMonkey • Nov 2 "Snoop Dogg Walk" emote promotional video Via @BeastFNCreative PD PL PD- 23 1370 6.5K ılı 98K ㅁ1

(Source: Reddit)

Manipulation

Tricia Rae Pendergrast @traependergrast nature documentary: you now have an emotional attachment to this crab me: ok documentary: do u promise to love him. me: yes of course documentary: THE CRAB IS NOW IN MORTAL PERIL me:

(Source: Reddit)

She won

Antonia Nicol @Flaminhaystack Before my mum passed away, she gave my dad strict instructions to water the plants in the bathroom. He's been religiously watering them & keeping them alive. They look so amazing he decided to take them to his new home, only to discover they are plastic! Can hear my mum chuckling

(Source: Reddit)

I don't want to be aware of any of this

drew janda @drewjanda Follow Please stop raising awareness. There is too much. I have become too aware 7:10 PM - Jun 3, 2024 2.2M Views 12.8K Reposts 327 Quotes 79.2K Likes

(Source: Reddit)

If you show up on time, they do

just Dave @davelebies Follow they should schedule doctor appts like DOORS 8:15 Nurse 8:25 Doctor 8:40 624PM-10/28

(Source: Reddit)

Dad jokes caught on

Nicholas Gertsema, CFP®, ChFC®, RICP® @ngertsema I'm putting my 6 yo to bed and he says, "Dad, I have kidneys. You have Dadneys." I'm. So. Proud. 7:09 PM Sep 12, 2021 Twitter for A .

(Source: Reddit)

Pretty much to be expected

ping@pingthebird - 13h UPDATE: fired ping@pingthebird - 04 Oct do you ever just misclick spicy gay furry art into #engineering-announcements on work slack 38 1798 3.6K 111K ☐ B

(Source: Reddit)

Respect the Hustle

Claire "Scare" Zagorski, MSc, LP... @clairezagorski You may be audacious, but are you "passing off a set of bowls from Walmart as handmade antiques at an over 700% markup on Etsy" audacious? IN STOCK $120.69 Pay it in 4 interest-free installments with Klarna. Exquisite Vintage Floral Bowl Set - 4-Piece Antique Footed Collection for Elegant Home Decor and Dinin by The True Threading The Pioneer Woman The Pioneer Woman Vintage Floral 4-Piece Footed Bowl Set ✰✰✰✰✰ (4.8) 268 reviews $16.88 Price when purchased online

(Source: Reddit)

Uh

jayden @modernpingas · 21h Went through my bag trying to figure out why it's been so heavy all year and you're telling me I had CHAINS in there??????? 438 13.3K 98.6K 892K ☐ ☐ α

(Source: Reddit)

Coasters

garfieldbot ✔ @robertlasagna1 Look man i "get it", I "get" the idea of coasters, I'm not a f g moron, you don't want to damage your nice table you spent a lot of money on. I'm just saying, what is the table in the first place if not a coaster for the floor. I'm just saying, where does it end

(Source: Reddit)

Hired

← Post max @fleetwoodmaxpng Follow i just got this resume from a new applicant Resume 1 Upload Download This will be my first job 14:45 30 Oct 24 1M Views . 100% Reset 1,699 Reposts 327 Quotes 73.3K Likes 1,725 Bookmarks 27 Σ go

(Source: Reddit)

I imagine it didn't go well

@itssherifield @itssherifield My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes. Dating is rough.

(Source: Reddit)

Tough

Jerry O'Connell @MrJerryOC · 10h Not what went out on our wedding invitations but yes. Yes I am. O CeeJay @newzee1234.18h Replying to @MrJerryOC and @Rebecca Romijn Wait you're married to her? The fat kid from Stand By Me is married to Mystique? 341 11.2K 31.8K 1.4M ☐ go

(Source: Reddit)

Stinky tofu

• Andy Masley @AndyMasley ⚫ 1d Am sad to report that a friend and I went to a very authentic Hunan restaurant, added stinky tofu to our order, was told by the waiter "No that's only for people from China, you won't like it," we both said that we were excited to try it, received it, and in fact couldn't eat it

(Source: Reddit)

Yep

6:23 K @ratlimit @ratlimit Post Follow why tf do they say Michigan looks like a 'mitten'. the thumb would have to be huge National Forest on Mountain Escanaba Marinette Green Bay n Lake Michigan.. • Sheboygan o Muskegon Milwaukee Grand k • Holland Kenosha o Evanston Chicago 90 South Bend o Mackinaw City Cheboygan Manitoulin Island Petoskey o Kalamazoo Ann 69 Sagi • Tobermory 6 Alpena Mi • London Sarnia 401 Lake Erie Toledo 90 Cleveland 2:21 PM - 11/3/24 800K Views t 2.1K 39K ☐ 1.2K Who can reply? Accounts @ratlimit follows or mentioned can only

(Source: Reddit)

Hate it

Kristin Naigus @field_of_reeds G... Follow This is the scariest pumpkin I've ever seen #4 Vote for your favorite pumpkin and help us pick a winner! TH- THIS IS MY HOLE! IT WAS MADE FOR ME! P #5

(Source: Reddit)

We don't deserve dogs

The Dalbo Dog @Dalbodog 2d I was laughing and my dog thought I was hyperventilating and got me my emergency inhaler. 1.2K 12K VERTE 243K 2.7M +

(Source: Reddit)



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