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In-Laws Refuse Flu Shots Before Their First Grandchild Arrives, Sparking a Family Feud
Becoming a new parent often means making difficult decisions about family boundaries, especially when it comes to protecting a newborn. A mother expecting her baby any day is already experiencing family tensions during what should be an exciting time.
This specific issue is concerning health and illness prevention regarding in-laws and people visiting the new baby. While her family agreed immediately to update vaccines, her in-laws refused completely, and have a history of exposing them to illnesses, too.
Now, this mother is considering allowing the in-laws to meet, but not hold the baby, or not see the baby at all. There is a lot of uncertainty here, and things could go very poorly in terms of familial relationships.
AITAH for not letting my in laws hold my newborn?
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Ok so background…. I am being induced with my first baby this weekend. It’s my in-laws first grandchild. My in-laws are very conservative and somewhat anti-vax. We
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Asked our families to get updated TDAP and flu shots. My family agreed with no issues (and actually got measles titers/boosters because we’re in PA at the center
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of the outbreak). My husband’s parents freaked out and basically said they’ve never gotten it, never will, and they understand that “it means they’ll see him
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less”. They went into other things such as they’re “healthy” and don’t need it, the Bible said “this” would tear families apart, vaccines don’t work, they bet MY
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parents got it, etc. We were p and they knew we were mad at them. It wasn’t until my SIL told them that they’re being selfish and they hurt their son that they
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sort of changed their tune and had a normal convo with my husband about it, but are still refusing to get the flu shot. They also have a history of giving us COVID and lying about it.
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Now, I know that I cannot force anyone to do anything nor do I want to force anyone to do anything. But it’s my
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baby being born during flu season and I’d like to do everything I can to protect him. His family has a history of his mom
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not being very kind to us/me and I don’t want to start off having a baby just giving into them again. In this situation, I
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feel like it is so much more than the flu shot and more so the principle of their reactions to things. If they would’ve
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had a normal convo the first time I really don’t think I’d feel this strongly. We felt completely disrespected at their
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initial reaction and I feel as though it requires some sort of consequence. My husband says well they
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“just see him (baby) less”, but that’s abstract and I feel like doesn’t really teach them a lesson. We discussed
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having the boundary of them not being able to hold him for a little while, but being able to meet him. WIBTAH for drawing
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this boundary? Or is it petty?
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NTA. Your baby's health and well being comes first, full stop.
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It is your responsibility to protect your son.
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Hold him? NO. Not even be in the same room with him!
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Your newborn shouldn’t be exposed to people who refuse to be minimally safe.
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