Two images from the viral Reddit post.

Is This Husband Wrong For Calling His Wife Pathetic? The Internet Debates

Cooking is an important part of daily life. At some point, everyone is going to have to cook something for themselves. It's hard and expensive to eat out every single day. Cooking is a skill that not everyone possesses, but arguably, it is one that most people can learn the basics of. There are so many articles and videos to learn from. So when this wife failed to do something insanely simple in the kitchen, she was called "pathetic" by her husband's mother. Not only did her husband not defend her, but he also agreed with his mother later on. This has caused serious turmoil between them, and now the husband is wondering if he is in the wrong for agreeing with his mother.

Is it okay for one person in a relationship to do all the cooking? Is it okay for the husband's mother to insult his wife and furthermore, for him to agree? Is this a case of weaponized incompetence or is she really that bad at cooking? All of these questions and more are discussed in the comments of this post. Keep reading for the full story along with relevant comments and an update from the original poster.

Here's the original story

920 AmitheA hole Join reddit Posted by Plastic_Voice_6229. AITA for agreeing with my mom that it's kind of pathetic my wife can't cook I (28M) have been married to my wife (31F) for about a year. Overall, things are great, but one thing that's been bugging me is that my wife doesn't know how to cook-at all. I've always been the one to handle meals, which I was fine with in the beginning because I enjoy cooking. But over time, it's started to wear on me, especially when I come home after a long day at work and still have to cook dinner while she relaxes. She refuses to cook and claims there is nothing wrong with not being able to cook. It's been an ongoing issue between us. I have been trying to teach her but she is really bad at it. Many conversation about this The other night, my mom (56F) came over for dinner. As usual, I was in the kitchen preparing everything, and my wife was sitting with my mom. At one point, my mom offered to help, and I asked if she could make the gravy or cut some fruit. My wife was standing around in the kitchen when my mom handed her a knife and asked her to cut some fruit while she handled the gravy. My wife couldn't figure out how to hold it properly and ended up making a mess. My mom watched her fail to cut the fruit and then blurted out, "It's honestly kind of pathetic that you don't even know how to cut a piece of fruit at your age." She then went behind her and started to guide her how to cut stuff like you do with a kid. My wife kinda shrugged and finished cutting her fruit with my mom guiding her Dinner happens and I noticed my wife was not happy the whole night. My mom left and she was p d I didn't defend her. That I embarrassed her by letting it happens We got into a bad argument and I told her that it is pathetic she can not even cut fruit. She is literally older than me and can't hold a knife properly. She told me that is not the point and I needed to defend her and it's not her fault she is bad at cooking. I point out it is, and she is embarrassed because not being able to hold a knife properly is embarrassing for an adult My wife thinks I am a huge jerk

(Source: Reddit)

Great question, to start

nonameplz87654 commented on post How did she survive before she met you? reddit 5.2K upvotes 399 replies View 399 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Online recipes are super useful

theheat commented on post reddit NTA These comments are wild. Every adult should know basic cooking skills in order to feed themselves, such as using a knife safely to cut fruit. She had this coming to her one way or another, honestly. 3.6K upvotes 253 replies View 253 comments

(Source: Reddit)

It's not that hard

wombatlikesgrass commented on post reddit NTA. Your wife should at least know how to cut fruit and some basic dishes. She seems lazy by not even trying or asking how to go about things if she really doesn't know. I understand your frustration and your mom's as well, but maybe you should try to have an honest conversation about it (again). There's clearly an imbalance and that shouldn't be the case. 2.4K upvotes 220 replies View 220 comments

(Source: Reddit)

A fun side comment from OP

Plastic_Voice_6229 commented on post She literally f reddit up mac and cheese, like the box stuff I can't tell if she is doing it on purpose or something I can't live like this, I can't take on all the food for the rest of my life I, Holidays will s - we are suppose to host thanksgiving.... 1.9K upvotes 211 replies View 211 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Pathetic is a little mean

StopSpinning LikeThat commented on post reddit Pathetic is a pretty vicious thing to call someone. Not every opinion needs to be voiced aloud. I suspect you liked your mom slamming your wife's lack of cooking skills because it felt like a win for you. But it felt like a loss for your wife, and it felt like another loss when you just sat there and let her eat that attack. I suspect the effect of it all is that your wife will be much more resistant to helping with the cooking, so this will turn out to be a lose-lose situation. 1.6K upvotes 82 replies. View 82 comments

(Source: Reddit)

There was probably a better way to go about things

ArrrrghB commented on post reddit ESH. Your mom's comments are rude and s ✓. Your wife's lack of interest in learning the bare minimum is s ✓. Letting your mom insult your wife to her face is s ✓. I don't care how true it is, I would never let my parent say something like that to my partner. ETA: I don't let my mommy fight my battles. 974 upvotes 65 replies View 65 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Hmmm…

InsideAmbitious4758 commented on post reddit YTA If it's a deal breaker for you, and she isn't willing to learn, just get divorced. The fact that you knew so little about her before you got married is what is truly pathetic. Letting your mom disrespect your wife in her own home, unchallenged, is cowardly. 208 upvotes 26 replies. View 26 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Is this a case of weaponized incompetence?

SnooRadishes8848 commented on post NTA, weaponized incompetence goes both ways reddit 152 upvotes 6 replies View 6 comments

(Source: Reddit)

They might have a point

airazaneo commented on post reddit If this was a 31yo dude who couldn't even slice fruit, more people would be calling this for what it is: weaponised incompetence. Because she knows how to cut up food. She knows how to hold a knife. She uses one to cut up food on her own plate probably every day. NTA 78 upvotes 8 replies View 8 comments

(Source: Reddit)

This was the top comment

Tdluxon commented on post Nta reddit Does she do the dishes/help cleanup? I don't think it really matters which partner does the cooking necessarily as long as the other is helping and the standard deal that almost everyone seems to follow is that if one person cooks, the other person cleans up. In my house, my wife usually cooks and I usually clean, which is fine because she enjoys cooking and is good (I'm OK, I can cook but she's definitely better). My mom and stepfather though are essentially the opposite... she got home from work late usually and isn't a great cook anyways, so he cooks and she does the dishes. And yes, it is kinda pathetic that she can't even use a knife. Even if you aren't a good cook, you should at least be able to figure out how to hold a knife, that's just silly. 14K upvotes 922 replies. View 922 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Maybe everyone is the problem here…

CrimsonKnight_004 commented on post reddit ESH - Your mom shouldn't have called her pathetic, and I can see why your wife would be hurt that you didn't say anything to defend her. You shouldn't have called her pathetic either. That isn't constructive and will only make her feel hurt and defensive. It isn't fair for her to expect you to do all the cooking, and needs to make a reasonable effort to learn. Especially something as basic as holding a knife. Did she not have a parent who could teach her? It might not necessarily be her fault that she never learned when she was young, but she does need to be open to learning more now so it doesn't all fall to you. As an adult, she's the only one responsible now for her gaps in knowledge and has ample resources to fill them. At this point, it's weaponized incompetence on her part since she refuses to even try. Insulting someone is the best way to kill their want to learn. If you and your mom make this a negative experience for her, she will not want to learn. You need to sit down and have an adult conversation with her, that cooking everything has been too much on you, and you'd like to bond with her through helping her learn to cook. Maybe you could even get one of those subscription boxes like HelloFresh once a week, an easy meal with all of the ingredients and recipe to follow, and you two can make a couple's night out of it? 7.6K upvotes 743 replies View 743 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Someone's lying here

YearOneTeach commented on post reddit ESH. Your mom was really rude. It seems kind of far fetched that your wife can't hold a knife properly. Does she eat with her hands? Either you are exaggerating about her inability to cook, or she is. 444 upvotes 15 replies. View 15 comments

(Source: Reddit)

Yeah…

These Mycologist132 commented on post reddit ESH. Your wife should be able to some basic cutting at her age. However, she has been upfront about not being a cook. You married her knowing this fact. Your mom entitled to her opinion, however it's never ok for a MIL to come into her daughter in laws home and call her names/act rude and judgmental. You should have talked to your wife privately if you are unhappy with the current cooking responsibilities. And you shouldn't have allowed your mother to call your wife "pathetic" without saying something to defend her. 121 upvotes 1 reply View 1 comments

(Source: Reddit)

A quick update from OP…

Edit: I can not keep up, over 2000 comments and I have things to do. If you have an info may already be answer in a previous comment So update: I definitely think this is weaponized incompetence, I will suggest marriage counseling and cooking classes. If things don't change I will be out. I will make this very clear Also for those asking, it was strawberries. She was smushing them and cutting them with the stems still on 15K upvotes Comment Copy link

(Source: Reddit)



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