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Is This User Wrong For Serving Someone Else's Leftovers At Their Party?

Dinner parties can be tricky. It can be hard to know what to make and bring, how much to make, and it's hard to know if everyone is going to like something. Cooking isn't as easy for some as it is for others, it can be overwhelming. So what if there was a simple solution to this problem? Many issues might arise when having roommates, and for this user, it is the fact that their roommate constantly leaves plenty of leftovers in their fridge. The user comments on cleaning the fridge because their roommate won't do so. So when this user was faced with the problem of not knowing what to make for their dinner party, they opted to take their roommate's leftovers as an easy way out.

Upon finding out, their roommate wasn't very happy. So now comes the question of who is wrong here. Is this user wrong for serving leftovers? Especially without asking? Is the roommate stuck up and in the wrong for not cleaning up their mess? Maybe everyone has a little bit of fault in the matter. Reddit users had a lot to say about this. Keep reading for the whole story and what people are saying.

Here's the original story (text below)

AITA for serving my roommate's girlfriend's leftovers at my dinner party without asking? Here's the situation: My roommate, Dave, has been dating this girl, Lisa, for a few months. Lisa is an amazing cook, and whenever she comes over, she whips up these incredible meals. The thing is, she always makes way too much food, and they leave a ton of leftovers in the fridge. Now, Dave never eats the leftovers. I'm not exaggerating when I say that every few days, I have to go through the fridge and clean out all the old food Lisa leaves behind because it just sits there until it starts to go bad. A few weeks ago, I decided to throw a small dinner party for some friends. I'm not much of a cook, so I was getting stressed about what to serve. I thought, why not ask Lisa to help out? She's always cooking at our place anyway, and I've always complimented her food. So, I casually mentioned it to Dave, asking if Lisa might be cool with cooking for my party. Dave seemed a bit taken aback but said he'd ask her. The next day, he told me Lisa wasn't comfortable with it because she didn't want to feel like she was being taken advantage of. I was surprised but told him no problem, I'd figure something else out. The night before the party, Lisa comes over and starts making dinner for her and Dave, as usual. I'm in the kitchen, hanging out with them, and mention that I'm still trying to figure out what to serve at my party the next day. Lisa doesn't say much but continues cooking, and I notice she's making a LOT of food way more than just for her and Dave. - After they finish eating, they leave the leftovers in the fridge. Given the history of these leftovers going uneaten and just taking up space until I have to clean them out, I get an idea. The next day, I take out the leftovers, heat them up, and serve them at my dinner party, along with a bean dip I made. My friends loved the food and kept complimenting me on how great it was. I just smiled and thanked them without giving too many details. That night, Dave comes home, orders pizza, and goes to bed without even checking the fridge. Two days later (after Lisa has already come and cooked another dinner), he notices the leftovers are gone and asks me what happened to them. I tell him I used them for my party. He gets super mad and says I had no right to take the food Lisa made. I argued that it was just leftovers, and since they never eat them, I figured it was better than letting them go to waste. Now, both Dave and Lisa are pretty p - 1 at me, saying it was a jerk move to "steal" her cooking for my party. I think they're overreacting because it was just food that was going to end up in the trash otherwise. So, AITA for serving my roommate's girlfriend's leftovers at my dinner party without asking? 3.2K upvotes Comment Copy link

(Source: Reddit)

AITA for serving my roommate's girlfriend's leftovers at my dinner party without asking?

Here's the situation: My roommate, Dave, has been dating this girl, Lisa, for a few
months. Lisa is an amazing cook, and whenever she comes over, she whips up these
incredible meals. The thing is, she always makes way too much food, and they leave a
ton of leftovers in the fridge.

Now, Dave never eats the leftovers. I'm not exaggerating when I say that every few
days, I have to go through the fridge and clean out all the old food Lisa leaves behind
because it just sits there until it starts to go bad.

A few weeks ago, I decided to throw a small dinner party for some friends. I'm not much
of a cook, so I was getting stressed about what to serve. I thought, why not ask Lisa to
help out? She's always cooking at our place anyway, and I've always complimented her
food. So, I casually mentioned it to Dave, asking if Lisa might be cool with cooking for
my party. Dave seemed a bit taken aback but said he'd ask her. The next day, he told
me Lisa wasn't comfortable with it because she didn't want to feel like she was being
taken advantage of. I was surprised but told him no problem, I'd figure something else
out.

The night before the party, Lisa comes over and starts making dinner for her and Dave,
as usual. I'm in the kitchen, hanging out with them, and mention that I'm still trying to
figure out what to serve at my party the next day. Lisa doesn't say much but continues
cooking, and I notice she's making a LOT of food way more than just for her and Dave.

After they finish eating, they leave the leftovers in the fridge. Given the history of these
leftovers going uneaten and just taking up space until I have to clean them out, I get an
idea. The next day, I take out the leftovers, heat them up, and serve them at my dinner
party, along with a bean dip I made. My friends loved the food and kept complimenting
me on how great it was. I just smiled and thanked them without giving too many details.
That night, Dave comes home, orders pizza, and goes to bed without even checking the
fridge. Two days later (after Lisa has already come and cooked another dinner), he
notices the leftovers are gone and asks me what happened to them. I tell him I used
them for my party. He gets super mad and says I had no right to take the food Lisa
made. I argued that it was just leftovers, and since they never eat them, I figured it was
better than letting them go to waste.

Now, both Dave and Lisa are pretty p-- at me, saying it was a jerk move to "steal"
her cooking for my party. I think they're overreacting because it was just food that was
going to end up in the trash otherwise.

So, AITA for serving my roommate's girlfriend's leftovers at my dinner party without
asking?

It's common courtesy

zzWoWzz commented on post reddit YTA You should at least ask if you can use it or offer to pay for the cost of the ingredients to make those food. It doesn't matter if those would would end up in the trash. You should had ask for their permission to use it. Now Lisa really is being taken advantage of. 7.3K upvotes 631 replies

(Source: Reddit)

OP has been cleaning up after them

MaybeMabelDoo commented on post reddit Eh, ESH. You know what you did, she literally told you she was uncomfortable. Also you lied. Also you stole. Also you held a dinner party without knowing the night before what you were making; what would you have done if she hadn't cooked? They need to take responsibility for their leftovers. You shouldn't be finding them going bad and having to throw out food from a shared refrigerator. As soon as they're depending on you to manage the food build up, they're muddying the waters. But seriously, you know what you did. 4.8K upvotes 81 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Cooking doesn't have to be hard

thrwy 111822 commented on post reddit YTA, but for a different reason than everyone else is saying- it was weird for you to ask Lisa to cook for your party in the first place. That's a pretty big favor to ask from someone who, let's face it, you don't know that well. Thinking you could just request that she cooks a fancy meal for you and all of your friends. when you're just her boyfriend's roommate is pretty wild. Now, if you had asked her to help you out by recommending some easy recipes for beginners or to give you pointers on cooking, that would be a different story. But the request was pretty out of pocket. I do agree that they need to be more conscientious about their leftovers. But | think you need to think about boundaries and what's cool to ask of someone that you really don't know that well ETA: OP isn't answering a basic question- why didn't he ask her to teach him? Why didn't you try to learn yourself? 3.4K upvotes 146 replies

(Source: Reddit)

It's just disrespectful

Vast_Argument_6170 commented on post reddit this!!! op is completely missing the point of why gf is upset regardless of their poor leftover eating skills. asking someone to cook for your party without offering pay or at least help is insane. then she says no and you still proceed to feed your guests her food? my mom would beat my grown lol 947 upvotes 21 replies

(Source: Reddit)

That's a really good point

Palanstein commented on post reddit YTA You ask before and never assume. Plus I don't get why would you throw a dinner party if you don't know how to cook or willing to buy food instead impose so much on a roommate gf Your behavior is very annoying here 592 upvotes 27 replies.

(Source: Reddit)

Clean up your messes

IWannaManatee commented on post reddit I'll say ESH in lieu of you not asking them first and taking food that wasn't yours to share in principle, but they're being unreasonably wasteful. Next time, do as they say and also ask them to clean up their expired food. Or leave it in the counter to make things easier and free some space in the fridge. It's their wasted food, they can do whatever they want with it as far as it isn't contaminating or using space. My sister was the same and actually preferred to toss any leftovers before me eating them, even if it was minutes before being spoiled. I know what you're dealing with, so in that regard yNTA. 249 upvotes 31 replies

(Source: Reddit)

BustAMove 13 commented on post reddit I'm going against the grain here and saying NTA. Your roommate needs to start cleaning out the leftovers himself. If he's not willing, his gf needs to take them home or start making a lot less food. If the food was going to be tossed anyway, then I don't see the big deal, except I don't think I'd want to eat leftovers at a party. As for not wanting moldy food in your fridge, I understand that, but I'd su kit up until the gf doesn't have room to add more or your roommate notices how nasty it is. 234 upvotes 9 replies

(Source: Reddit)

No more wasting food!

Personal-Snow 5348 commented on post reddit I'm probably biased because I can't stand food waste but NTA. The roommate refuses to throw away molding food. You've talked to them about how much is getting wasted and how nasty it is to leave all of that there. The same people that are calling you an AH probably also love to talk about how wasteful food culture is. Yes big corporations are the main issue but hif I know someone on a personal level that just likes to chuck food in the garbage because "it's mine" I'm gonna think they're the bigger ah than the person who looks at that future trash and says "maybe this doesn't need to be wasted." 134 upvotes 2 replies.

(Source: Reddit)

It's a little tacky

Kayshmay commented on post reddit Yta. First off, feeding your guests leftovers is tacky as h Second, no one gave you permission to do that. She specifically said she did not want to feed your friends. You should have respected that. You sound lazy and entitled. I don't care if you think you were trying not to waste it. That food was not yours. 48 upvotes 2 replies

(Source: Reddit)

This is true

Demolition-woman223 commented on post reddit YTA And they're also AHs but for very different reasons, they're b "holes, for being too far up their a that they would waste huge amounts of food for no reason. You are for serving leftovers at a dinner party, honestly idk if it's not a thing at your place, but it's generally considered not etiquette to serve your guests someone else's leftovers, also you had no clue what went into what, you have no idea if someone had an allergic reaction, cause home cooks don't always stick to recipe, sometimes we add things we like. 34 upvotes 11 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Not everyone feels that way…

abysmalanna commented on post reddit nta- as someone who always cooks too much, i would rather see the food i made with groceries i paid for be eaten than forget about them and toss them in a week. they are consistently wasting food and you're the one having to take care of it. if it took them days to say anything, that's on them. if they cared that much about the leftovers they would eat them within a day or two. if you feel bad about it just offer to pay for the ingredients or something but you didn't do anything wrong imo 21 upvotes 1 reply

(Source: Reddit)

Again, good question

Fx08 commented on post reddit Info: why would you host a dinner party when you're not a good cook? 18 upvotes 10 replies

(Source: Reddit)

I also wondered this

springcabinet commented on post reddit INFO What in the world kind of food is she making? I can't imagine anything that would end up with enough leftovers to be able to serve an entire dinner party while also being something appropriate for a dinner party and I am genuinely dying to know. 11 upvotes 0 replies

(Source: Reddit)

So much wasted food in this world…

Desperate-Chapter506 commented on post reddit You don't eat your roommate's food under any circumstances. If you're at a supermarket and see food that will be thrown out that night, you don't steal it. You would get arrested. Same situation. Your roommate may be a d but YTA. 679 upvotes 67 replies

(Source: Reddit)



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