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Is This Woman's Husband Wrong For Going Out To Lunch With His Female Boss?

Work lunches and dinners are normal; it's something that is done amongst companies to team build and bond. One-on-one meals are also normal; they're a way to celebrate successes and discuss growth. So, what happened with this user? This user and her husband had been planning a trip to a particular restaurant for some time. His boss brought up the idea of going to this specific restaurant, and he agreed. This left a bad taste in the original poster's mouth. The plot thickens, though.

OP mentioned that her husband's boss is female, widowed and seemingly very enthusiastic about spending time with her husband, and that asking an employee to lunch is out of character for her. The poster is asking for advice and feedback on whether or not she has the right to be upset about this supper or not. The comments are somewhat split. Some are questioning what she is truly upset about, others are agreeing with her that the whole thing is strange. Is this a case of jealousy of the restaurant? Or jealousy of the boss?

Keep reading to see the whole story, along with relevant comments and an update from the poster that could change some minds.

Here's the original story

AmltheA hole + Join Posted by SpicyCraboo. reddit AITA for arguing with my husband because his female boss is taking him to lunch at H_¨'s Kitchen when it was always our plan to go try it together for the first time? My husband 40 male was recently asked by his 52 year-old female boss if she could take him out for lunch at H I's kitchen. I admittedly was a little upset to hear that he had taken her up on this offer because him and I always planned to go to H ¨'s kitchen together. We watch the show together. We're both fans of Gordon Ramsay and we always talked about going together for the first time one day. The only issue was money saving up for it, but she can afford it easily. His boss lost her husband unexpectedly a few years ago and has one son who she doesn't get along with. She is very attractive for her age and seems to really favor my husband. Am I the a hole for getting upset with him for accepting this offer, or am I being jealous and dramatic? We've been arguing about it for a couple of days now.

(Source: Reddit)

What's the real issue here?

[deleted] commented on post reddit ΝΤΑ I don't think it has much to do with H's Kitchen as much as it does a attractive single woman that favors your husband taking him out. I think many would feel a certain way about that. But, if she takes co-workers out regularly like this it shouldn't be a problem imo. Need more backstory 2.9K upvotes 429 replies.

(Source: Reddit)

Hmmm…

SpicyCraboo commented on post reddit She does not normally take out co-workers like this. I just feel a bit weird about the whole thing. 1.8K upvotes 372 replies.

(Source: Reddit)

There is a certain kind of pressure there

Sad Cryptographer689 commented on post reddit Not sure what you expect him to do here. Turning down his boss because his wife is jealous is not a good career move. Like others have said, this doesn't seem to be about the restaurant and more about an insecurity you have with this woman. 1.1K upvotes 156 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Oof

appleb... 8807 commented on post reddit Well clearly them going to a place you two have beein planning to try is not really the problem here, you would not have pointed out her appearance, the fact that she is widowed or her relationship with her son. If you're threatened by her, just say that. Don't make it about the restaraunt. YTA 479 upvotes 22 replies.

(Source: Reddit)

People are starting to sense a different problem

NotUrPunching Bag commented on post reddit I'm reserving judgement because you pointed out that his boss is attractive, widowed (?) and apparently favors your husband. Why point this out? Are you trying to hint that the boss has nefarious intent by taking her employee to lunch? 175 upvotes 10 replies

(Source: Reddit)

When you put it that way…

plumdinger commented on post reddit YTA. That's his boss. He basically has to go. If he turns her down, one way or another, it could hurt his review/bonus/raise. It's a business lunch, not a social engagement, and he's not gonna enjoy it like he would with you. Don't worry. 77 upvotes 16 replies

(Source: Reddit)

He could have suggested something different, to be fair

Disastrous_Art_1975 commented on post reddit I don't understand why he didn't just say "oh my wife and I are planning to go there together for the first time. We can go to another restaurant." There would be seemingly no issue. He should have handled that better from the beginning. NTA (with a caveat) Caveat: yes, some of your feelings are your own insecurities. Which ideally you should be the one dealing with. However, since he is not choosing to consider you regarding the restaurant, I can understand why it may feel like a moment where trust is sketchy. Yall need to have a conversation where yall talk about where yall are and discuss alternatives. If he's not willing to budge, then there are other problems at play. If he is, then deal with your own insecurity and he gets networking time with his boss 47 upvotes 5 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Is it that simple?

Enough Ad_222 commented on post reddit NTA All the people saying that there is an expected amount of pressure when your boss asks you for anything that you just do it, where is the line? When should she be rightfully concerned as his wife? When should her husband politely decline? Why is his boss' ego and placation more important than his wife's? "it's not that simple" Y'all scare me. Your boss isn't God. You can say no ffs. is that what you'd say to someone who told you no? I swear it's like some of you want there to be zero boundaries. 22 upvotes 7 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Okay that's a whole different problem

camkats commented on post reddit Honestly H. "'s Kitchen has been around for a bit and you haven't gone so YTA 18 upvotes 0 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Hard to say

CzechYourDanish commented on post reddit NTA. I'm guessing he wouldn't appreciate it if the shoe was on the other foot, eh 11 upvotes 0 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Maybe it's a little weird?

jane_dough commented on post reddit NTA. You said she doesn't do this regularly with other coworkers. I don't care what the other commenters say, it's weird that she would invite him if it's not something she does with everyone. 5 upvotes 1 reply

(Source: Reddit)

Well, yeah

Choice-Intention-926 commented on post reddit NTA. His attractive boss who doesn't take out anyone else wants to take him a married man to an expensive restaurant. The specific restaurant that the two of you wanted to try together. He could have easily said he wanted to go with his wife, but he didn't. She knows he wants to go there and she's trying to be the one that the memory is made with. It's a no for me. 7 upvotes 2 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Does the edit change anything?

DontAskMeChit commented on post reddit NTA. I just saw the edit. This is inappropriate to say the least. What is your husband saying about why he wants to go? Why can't he suggest another restaurant at a time closer to work hours? 10 upvotes 0 replies

(Source: Reddit)

Aaand the edit…

Edit to add: thanks for all the responses. I'm 4 years younger than him and in the same field of work. Some additional info... it is not a work lunch, it is just because and she asked him because she knows he just really wants to go. It is not during business hours it's on their own time. She's bringing him to show her appreciation for doing a great job at work. There is no promotion on the line, he's capped out basically. After reading all the comments I have to say I am definitely more disappointed about the fact my husband and I had planned to experience it together for the first time when we had extra funds. I cannot go as I will be out of town that day with family. However, I was also not invited to begin with. She is paying for the whole meal out of her own pocket. And I will admit that yes, I am weary and a bit jealous of the whole situation. My husband has decided he is definitely going. He has always been faithful that I know of... so it's more hurtful that we were suppose to go experience it together. 1.6K upvotes Comment Copy link

(Source: Reddit)



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